


Uptown Hunks 2.0

by Stupidly_And_Completely



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 18:53:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16816432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stupidly_And_Completely/pseuds/Stupidly_And_Completely
Summary: So this is based on the assumption that the actual Uptown Hunks arrived and it started later in the day than 3pm. Warning brief references to male strippers.





	Uptown Hunks 2.0

* * *

The pub is spotless. The blonde barmaid had spent all morning cleaning it from top to bottom, she’d even ordered in extra booze in expectation of the crowd Bob had promised. Charity can’t remember being this eager for work in ages, come to think of it, it was probably the last time they were visited by the Uptown Hunks. Sure there isn’t anything worth sampling now she’s got Vanessa, but a bit of window shopping never hurt anyone.

The pub is packed, even if it’s not quite with the age-group she was expecting. Charity can feel the anticipation rising in the room, though her own seems to be waning rapidly. The bar is heaving, a pre-show rush, so the barmaid takes a few orders before moping down to the cellar under the pretence of changing a barrel. Her enthusiasm for this evening has all but disappeared when she spies the old armchair in the corner and sits down with a huff. The chair reminds her of last October when a tiny blonde whirlwind came tearing into her life, like it does every time she sees it, and it suddenly dawns her that maybe Vanessa is the reason she’s lost all interest in what’s happening upstairs. And then she’s certain of it, like she is with everything when it comes to Vanessa.

She’s brought out of her reverie when she hears the cellar door open and a warning shout coming from Chas. Charity releases a long breath and drags herself back upstairs not even bothering to plaster on a fake smile. She sulks around behind the bar, reluctantly serving as few punters as possible, much to Chas’s annoyance. The strippers barely have their tops off before she gives into the need to text Vanessa.

_How you coping with the boys?_

Charity’s just finishing up pouring another pint when she feels the phone in her back pocket vibrate. She slips into the back corridor, while everyone is distracted by the show and opens the message, a smile breaking out across her face when she sees a picture of Moses and Johnny smiling with a train in each hand.

_Both still alive see. Was that group Bob booked not as big as he said, thought you’d be too busy to be texting me?_

_Turns out Bob is an idiot, who knew. They’re all 80+, one literally came in with an oxygen tank babe. What’d the boys have for tea?_

Charity makes a mental note to wind Vanessa up later about finding a new club for her to join. Teasing Vanessa has always been almost too easy, the tiny blonde is almost as defensive about her jumpers as she is over Charity.

_We had lasagne, thought we’d be safe to eat it with you out of the house!_

_Never gonna let that one go are you?_

_Probably not. I have to go these little monsters are demanding a story before bed._

_Fine but you better not all be reading that new Paw Patrol one without me._

_We wouldn’t dream of it. Think we’re reading winnie the pooh AGAIN!_

It’s barely half an hour since she put the boys down, and she’s just making herself a cuppa when the vet’s phone pings again.

_Babe come and prop up the bar. Get your dad to sit in with the boys, they're asleep anyway_

_No thanks I’ll pass, I’m still traumatised from the last time. Get Tracy to keep you company!_

_Can’t get near her, she’s surrounded by a puddle of her own drool!_

_Ha that sounds about right. Well my next suggestion is a bit out there, but how about you consider actually doing some work?_

_That’s what Chas said._

It’s just gone 10 and Vanessa is curled up in the corner of the sofa, half reading some magazine Tracy left lying on the coffee table and half watching whatever reruns are on the TV when she hears the front door open. She hadn’t been expecting anyone as she knew Charity would be late tonight due to the unusually large crowd, and to be honest she thought the barmaid would end up carrying Tracy home with her, probably in a right state too.

She’s surprised when she turns round from her spot to see Charity coming through the door.

“What’s wrong, why are you home so early?” Vanessa asks, the worry evident in her voice.

“Nothing’s wrong babe I just had to get out of there before one of those old birds had a heart attack. Knowing my luck I’d get the blame for it. Also Chas pointed out that I wasn’t doing anything, so I thought I may as well slip out.”

“You sure you’re not just tired from all the exercising?”

“What are you on about?” Charity frowns, slumping down beside her girlfriend on the sofa.

“You know… of your hetero side” the smaller blonde teased.

Charity can’t help but let out a short laugh, “You think you’re so funny”.

“I mean I was leaning more towards hilarious, but yeah.”

Charity rolls her eyes and lets her head fall back onto the sofa, releasing a long sigh and closing her eyes.

“You wanna tell me why you’re really home so early or…” Vanessa pauses waiting to see how Charity responds so she knows whether or not to push for answers.

“Well when Chas asks why I abandoned ship I’m blaming you” she huffs.

“How’s it my fault, I wasn’t even there tuh distract you” Vanessa objects.

Charity opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling, chancing a quick glance towards Vanessa before continuing. “That’s kinda the point babe, it just wasn’t as much fun as I thought it’d be, okay. If you’d of told me this time last year that I’d be leaving the pub early on stripper night I probably would of not so kindly suggested that you be committed. You’ve bloody ruined me.”

Vanessa’s lips curl up at the rare, honest admission, and it makes her think of just how far they’ve come over the last year.

“Aww well how about I make it up to you” Vanessa utters, leaving little room for misinterpretation when she moves to slide her hand along her girlfriend’s thigh.

Charity quirks her eyebrow, “Well that depends babe, on what you’ve got in mind?”

“Well… I had planned on offering you a private show when you got home, but now that you seem to have gone off strippers…” She’s cut off when Charity practically leaps off the sofa and sprints towards the stairs, leaving Vanessa standing in the middle of the living room giggling to herself. Charity’s halfway up the stairs when she spins round “Come on get a move on will you, I’ll get the baby oil!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting a fic, so any comments would be greatly appreciated.


End file.
